Sorry, I can’t stop making Steinbeck inspired titles for events like these. I love Steinbeck novels and would list him in my top 3 best authors of all time list. Epic days like Supanova just call for it, don’t you think?
Supanova is the biggest Sci-fi event to grace Perth. Starting only a few years ago, Supanova has grown to a giant event attracting nerds, geeks and the occasional girlfriend into a hot stinky expo centre at the usually vacant Perth Show grounds.
I start my journey into Supanova by waiting in line and checking into four square. I don’t know why I’m attracted to 4 square, I’m usually the one making fun of it. Thanks to four square I’m the self appointed Mayor of Crazy Town.
Looking up from four square I find myself at the end of a long line. A long, long line. A long, long, long….. You get the picture. It’s not one line as such but two coming from two different directions. I suppose this is what the Supanova website meant when it said buy online and avoid the line at the door. This is about when I reach for Twitter. “Lines? I don’t wait in lines! #supanova” very closely followed with “I think lines will be the theme of today #supanova”. I didn’t know how true that statement was about to become.
Once inside Supanova I head on a set route. I’ve already examined the floor plan and even have a copy on my iPhones iBook app. I’m here for one mission and one mission only, talk to Eliza Dushku and ask her if she knows of The Watchers fan fiction group. For the mission to be successful I need Eliza herself on video telling my internet BFF and fellow Geek-Life writer Rob Kidman that The Watchers are awesome. A very tall order I know but one I am very confident about. I push the nerds aside and head towards my destiny!
Another freaking line? In order to get to Eliza you need a ticket. To get the ticket you need to buy it from the Supanova store. This line is easily 40 minutes long and snakes all around the room! Out comes my iPhone once again. “I wonder what is at the front of this line? #supanova” a pondering quickly answered by @faeriprincess who is also in the line somewhere. “Eliza Dushku”. She reminded me of my mission and kept me from leaving. A shout comes from behind me in line. It’s a Facebook friend I haven’t seen 15 years! Everybody is in this line it seems. It certainly feels long enough to have everybody in Perth in it!
The line is actually a great observation point for cosplayer spotting. Not every costume is a winner with the fattest Speed Racer in existence walking past, underwear casually rising up from his pants. I’m sure speed isn’t a normal part of his life. A much better costumed kid walks up to the Supanova Dalek. It’s a young time lord. His name is Ethan and I’m sure this is exactly what the Doctor will look like next time around.
Tickets in hand I start looking to use them. Quickly I find myself on the end of a line that finishes at the very beautiful Summer Glau, star of Serenity and The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Ten minutes later the line starts to dissipate right in front of my eyes. A less then enthusiastic Supanova volunteer has jumped in with a ‘This line ends here’ sign. “You bastard!” I shout but it falls on deaf ears with a little less then a shrug.
I wander nervously. I have just spent $150 on these tickets! Am I ever gonna use them? Wandering around Supanova I see many strange sights. Just about every cartoon, comic book and video game character has come to life and is wandering the halls. Once normal people have disguised themselves under shrouds and masks. Some have spent months perfecting their costume to the quality of a blockbuster movie, others have grabbed mum’s eyeliner 3 minutes before catching the bus. All wear their costumes with pride.
Overwhelmed I head back to the stars to find Eliza but she is at lunch. Already exhausted I find a place to sit and plan my next move. “I’m pitching a tent in the autograph area #supanova” was quickly followed on Twitter with “I can see Sailor Moons underpants! Upside to sitting on the floor #supanova”.
I watched a line form almost instantly in front of me, only out of curiosity I get in it. At this point I have nothing to loose, I’m never gonna find Eliza, she’s never gonna send a video message and I’m going home empty handed! Searching for a reason to stay I grab a friendly volunteer.
“Um. Excuse me. What is this line for?” I ask, hoping she doesn’t wonder why I would be standing in a line just because it was there.
“Photos with Eliza.” She replies with her new found authority. Two days a year she gets to push around nerds and she is loving every minute of it.
Success! I have found a way to Eliza! A photo! I have a ticket for that!
Casually I look down at my phone. ‘Hmmm 12.30.’ Yes I hmmmm when I think to myself. Don’t you? ‘Hmmm 12.30. Eliza is doing a panel at 1. How long am I going to be in this line?’ I already knew the answer. There was no way I would move from this spot for almost 2 hours. With the line forming fast behind me I stay.
‘I’m in a line that wont move for 2 hours with 2 guys from Adelaide #supanova’. I shared my time in the Eliza line with the 4 people behind me. 2 young guys from Adelaide, a girl who just wants to read and her tiny boyfriend, convincingly whipped to within an inch of his manhood. The 2 guys are great. They have traveled 3 hours by plane, booked into a hotel for 3 nights and spend countless hours in lines just to spend 13 seconds with Eliza Dushku. When I ask them about this they reminded me that as 20 year old guys they could do a lot with 13 seconds.
It was not long before reading girl started getting peeved. Standing in a line isn’t the easiest thing to when you are 5ft tall and reading. Everybody chooses her spot in line to pass through the line, constantly knocking her off her book. Seemingly out of no where she bursts out, “Alright! The next fucker that knocks me is getting kicked in the balls!” He tiny boyfriend shrugs while the 2 guys from Adelaide decide to help her by creating a wall around her with their 6ft bodies.
Just before 2 Eliza’s Dollhouse panel get out. The panel was for special ticket holders only. $450 was needed to get in that room and if you were lucky enough to have one of those golden tickets you were treated like royalty. The golden ticket holders quickly make a line next to us and it is clear we would be waiting way past 2.
I use this opportunity to tell those around me why I think that even though Serenity was a great film, Firefly was very lacking. At first I was met with a very hostile crowd, so hostile I was threatened with a violent encounter outside the safety of Supanova. Over time I won the support of onlookers because deep down, every Joss fan knows the Firefly was a very, very, very (don’t push your luck Jason), very poor effort. I’m glad to say that because of me, a few less people will waste their time with Firefly re-runs.
Finally the golden ticket holders have finished their photos with Eliza and our line is pushed up against the wall of the panel room. Over the wall we can all hear Lou Ferrigno reliving life as the Hulk between ‘78 and ‘82 when I shout “Speak up Lou!” over the wall. Lou, by sheer awesome timing, screams a big “Hulk smash!” down his mike. I’m sure that was meant for me.
As if Lou is the catalyst for line movement we start trundling towards the gap in the wall. I know on the other side is Eliza posing for photo after photo. Surprisingly I start getting nervous. What am I going to say, what’s going to happen? What about Rob? Eh, who cares about Rob! I’m about to be with Eliza Dushku. True Lies, Buffy, Tru Calling and Dollhouse. Oh geez, don’t forget Sex and Breakfast! Eliza Dushku! I’m afraid I’m going to sweat all over her.
There she is. Glowing. Stunning. Very Hollywood. As I take my place at her side I want to say something. “I had a huge crush on you in True Lies.” Why did I say that? It all disappears as I bend my knees and pose beside her. Being as tall as I am it’s natural to bend down when in photos with shorter people. As much of a reflex as catching a ball. She puts her hand on my shoulder and I place my hand on her waist. Her clothes feel so expensive, so light. She is so skinny I can just about put my hand right around her waist. She smells like movie star. Movie star sounds like a silly way to describe a smell but trust me, if you get the chance to be close to someone like Eliza, you will know what I mean.
My 13 seconds with Eliza are over. I leave. ‘Shit! Why did I say I had a crush on her in True Lies? Sounds like I love young girls. Surly she knows I meant when I was 14. Right? After all Eliza and I am the same age. She wouldn’t think? Nah. But….’ I sweat under the idea of Eliza thinking I should be on To Catch a Predator for more then a few seconds before I calm down. I’m so embarrassed.
I think my photo is the perfect example of fat geek writer vs prim and proper Hollywood actress. If she thinks she’s so cool, why isn’t she wearing a Back to the Future t-shirt?
Sometime between Eliza, Summer and the lines I met Dichen Lachman. I just call her Katya because that’s the character she played on Australian soap Neighbours. Dichen is great. She had plenty of time to talk and wasn’t shy of Neighbours gossip. We talked about my friend Rob and Neighbours. She was curious to hear about the Neighbours characters on Twitter, especially since her Neighbours brother, Zeke, is one of the Twitter profiles. She told me to say hello to Zeke from Katya and signed a photo for me. I hope Dichen has some success in her career.
More line waiting followed, this time for Summer Glau. Not to be stopped by the line ending volunteer this time I made sure to be very first in line. Being first is great but it does come with a lot of waiting. I was waiting so long for Summer that I got sick of the view my advantage point provided me. I was stuck, 3ft away from Eliza yet I couldn’t finish my mission. She was busy with other fans. I could only stare and dream of telling her about my friend Rob. Excuse the bad quality photo but I was so close to her I thought it rude to take the time to take a clear one.
Finally Summer sits down. She, unlike Eliza, is naturally beautiful and gorgeous with a intense look. You can tell she is a real character actor and doesn’t fall for Hollywood glamour. Summer spends her life in a movie set trailer not at Hollywood parties. She is someone you could be comfortable with at home eating Cheezles.
I brought something special for Summer to sign. I like to try and stand out, hopefully she might remember that one person that brought something different from the others. I brought my The Unit box set. Might not sound like much but Summer appeared as a supporting actor in the second season of The Unit as a young wife of a former soldier attracted by the money of private security in war zones.
I approach her feeling very comfortable and she warms to me instantly. Summer picks up the DVD with child like excitement. Memories of her time on The Unit seemed to fill her head as she looks up at me.”I’ve never seen one of these. This is so cool. So you um… Where should I write on this?” I tell her how great I thought she was on the show but I’m not sure she hears anything I say. She is so absorbed in her memories that she is lost in the DVD. Holding it with care, she doesn’t want to ruin it with her scrawl so she writes on a small bit of white space near the title. Summer hands it back. I’m not sure she knows I was even there. That’s the power of a memory.
Leaving Summer I quickly get on the end of Eliza’s dwindling signing line. Only a few seconds till I get to tell her about Rob. I’m sure she knows about Watchers. I do and I have never seen a full Buffy episode in my life. Closer and closer, it’s almost time!
It’s very rushed around Eliza. She has been sitting for a while. I should know, I was watching. Ushers walk the length of the line asking if everybody could write their name on their official Eliza signing voucher. I ask the usher to write Rob for me. She looks at me as if to say I don’t look like a Rob. I reassure her it’s for a friend. Almost pushed up in a rush I find myself face to face once again with Eliza.
“Hey Eliza, this is for my friend Rob. He works on The Watchers fan fiction.” I get the feeling that Eliza is all talked out. “Yeah, anyway they kept Buffy going after it finished. They have done quite a few seasons now.” Eliza seems genuinely surprised. “Really??? That’s crazy. Never heard of that. OK. Bye.” That was it. Rushed away. No video. I failed. Hours and hours of waiting and I walk away empty handed.
I feel empty. Walking out Supanova I see that I’ve been in the Supanova time rift for 6 hours. I’ve met a few great people, pissed off a few great people. Met some of sci-fi’s biggest names but ultimately failed. I guess I have to be happy with this consolation prize.
