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Jules (for the uninitiated, our almost-4-year-old middle child) is going through a slight language burst, where his vocabulary is quite broad, but his pronunciation of complex sounds can sometimes leave a lot to be desired. For example, he has difficulty with “Br” and “Fr” – and pronounces them as “W”.

Like all 3.5-4 year old boys (and 35-40 year old boys…), he also has a pre-occupation with his penis. I tend to just look away whilst he fondles himself without any regard for the fact that his mother can see him. Which, needless to say, is something I hope he grows out of.

His favourite character out of Pixar’s “Cars”, is Frank, the Combine Harvester (trust my kids to attach to the most obscure), which has made the purchase of the associated toy difficult.

Hello eBay. Yes, I found one.

I told him about it.

And, whilst fiddling with his penis, he proclaimed rather loudly in the bathroom that Mum had bought him his very own “Wank toy”.

My response?

“Like you need any help.”

Naturally, I got a blank stare, because my children don’t appreciate how utterly brilliant and funny their mother is.

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  3. The Feminist.
This post has Comments
  • Cary
    You will tell this story at his wedding night. It will bring the house down.
  • Ah, but Cary... its already on the interwebs forever!
  • Bloody kids!

    I agree, don't know good humour even when it smacks them in the face!
  • A Random Me
    In 15-20 years time it'll be buried in an archive, assuming the magic of the internet is still similar, so will be unlikely to be found by future spouses and their friends/family, so it's always worth storing for future comedy.
  • DD-M
    a young friend of mine, who is now in his mid twenties, when he was four had an unfortunate inability to say the work "truck". Imagine the looks his mother got when in the supermarket they went down the aisle with the cheap toys and he saw a truck and exclaimed loudly while pointing at the aforesaid toy.
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