I don’t know when exactly it happened – its more of a cumulative thing over a number of Christmases – but it shits me that I cannot drive anywhere in my suburb right now without traffic. Especially 4WD traffic.

I haven’t bought any presents this year, purely because I have not been able to bear going to my “local” with a newborn baby in a pram. You can guarantee that he’d be kicked, hit and shoved as the great unwashed scramble towards the Parents with Prams bays (even if they, funnily enough, dont have children) and go and buy their [hilariously witty] Thingz novelty gifts and Christmas ham.

So, if you’re expecting a present from me, too bad. I haven’t had time. Sorry. I haven’t even got Mina anything except for some lollies and cheap (read WA Salvage) stocking filler toys. And Jules, well, he doesn’t care anyway.

I had the privilege of visiting my sister down in Shitholesville (otherwise known as Leda, where, I shit you not, they have a Whitebread Lane. Now, given that its one of those bogan estates that is only an hour away from ANYWHERE but is cheap, I had to laugh).

Anyway, seeing as we were there to show off the new sprog, conversation occasionally digressed into motherhood-related issues. My little sister, having had twins at the tender age of 18, has always been an inspiration to me, primarily because she doesn’t let things faze her, whereas I would be a blithering mess about everything. Motherhood is no exception.

We started talking about newborn sleep patterns – how we were using the Baby Whisperer’s method and patiently waiting for it to work.

My sister then went on to say that both the twins and their younger brother had slept through the night from the day they came home from the hospital.

She considers what she said for a moment, and then said “at least, I think they did – I’ll sleep through anything. Too bad for them if they didn’t!”.

I would have been horrified if she wasn’t such a good mother…

My Grandmother shares the most practical argument so far for the banning of the abortion-drug RU-486:

“I don’t think that RU-486 should be available because all those babies will go down the drain. There’ll be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-like babies running around all over the place and they’ll take over.”